Untouched
by Xpecto Patronum
Summary: <html><head></head>When Hermione said she was willing to do anything for the Order, she didn't know how far it would go. Now the two things she hated the most were coming together, love potions and Draco Malfoy; it was a disaster waiting to happen! And Hermione is reluctant to end this mission as much as she was reluctant to start it. *I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER*</html>
1. Mission Not Quite Possible

**A/N: Hi everybody, at first I wanted this to be a oneshot, but as I kept experimenting with it I realized I can't write it to my satisfaction in just one chapter. However, this is going to be a short story, maybe 5 chapters, more or less. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy your reviews. :)**

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><p>"But there has to be another way!" Hermione pleaded desperately.<p>

"I'm sorry Hermione, but we've been contemplating this matter for weeks now. We considered Veritaserum but it's not ready; finding the ingredients and brewing the potion will take so long, by the time we're done, the Easter holiday will be over. If we miss this chance it would be impossible to find another one soon." Lupin explained "Every minute matters." he added quietly.

"If Dumbledore would let me interrogate the kid myself we won't need to go through this bloody hassle, I tell you!" Mad-Eye Moody barked from the corner of the room.

"I think...Dumbledore made it _very_ clear that you were not to use any unforgivable curses on the kid, Moody." Lupin reminded him, his voice showing that he was trying hard to control his temper.

"The_ kid_ you're referring to is plotting for something sinister, we all know that!" Moody thundered at the man in front of him.

"Yes, but he's still a Hogwarts student." Tonks interjected finally "And I think Hermione is capable of carrying out the mission perfectly." she added softly, smiling at Hermione who just sat there listening to them half attentively. Her mind was reeling with the news she had just been told.

When she said she was willing to do anything to help the order, she never thought it was going that far! She hated love potions. She hated Draco Malfoy. But when the two got mixed together, that was recipe for disaster. And to add insult to injury, out of all the people in the world it was Remus Lupin and Mad-Eye Moody who took it upon themselves to explain the nature of her mission, could a person die of embarrassment?

"I think we have covered the important parts. Tonks will cover the details with you. The two of us have to go now. Good luck Ms. Granger, we all trust you." Lupin smiled kindly at the young witch before urging Moody out of the room.

"Hermione, I know it's not an easy task, but all of us had to go out of their way at some point. It's for the greater good." Tonks placed her hand over Hermione's, her look sympathetic "At least the castle would be almost empty, so you won't have to worry about people noticing anything. Everybody is going home for the holiday this year...parents have become really worried about their children. They don't leave them at school as much as they used to." she remarked sadly.

"We've done some...searching." she almost giggled, "I have to admit it was my favorite part, obviously Malfoy has a special fondness of a certain type of chocolate." she added, reaching for something in her bag.

_Chocolate_! Hermione mused, this keeps getting more and more odd!

Tonks was now holding the bar of chocolate, it was wrapped in green and laced with a silver ribbon. A card hanged from the ribbon and Hermione held it up to read it.  
>"<em>So you could have at least one of your favorite things while I'm away. Pansy<em>" the card read.

"Do you actually think Pansy Parkinson would say that? Even _she_ should have more dignity than calling herself a...a thing!" Hermione was so mad at what she read that her voice ended up louder than she intended it to be. This card was degrading!

"It _is_ something Pansy Parkinson would say, and anyway, I don't think Malfoy would really give it much thought. He'd only be interested in knowing who sent it, and the handwriting looks typical to hers. Professor Snape was kind enough to provide us with some of her homework parchments, not the brightest girls if you ask me." Tonks grinned.

"This has just the right amount to keep him under the potion's effect for four days, anymore and it would've been risky. I really hope you can get the information we need as soon as possible." Tonks explained, more serious now.

"And this flask has some forgetfulness potion, the amount is just right to erase those four days. Mad-Eye Moody did a great job, to be honest." A hint of pride laced Tonks' voice as she presented Hermione with a small flask.

"I'm going to his room now to place the bar. Tonight or tomorrow morning at maximum, he will have eaten it, we're positive." she sounded so sure!

"But what if he didn't?" Hermione asked hopefully.

"He will, Hermione. If you find your favorite treat wrapped and waiting for you on your bedside cabinet with a card from your boyfriend, wouldn't you eat it?" Tonks reasoned with her.

"Pansy Parkinson is Malfoy's...girlfriend?" Hermione wasn't surprised at the choice of person; she was surprised Malfoy was capable of harboring feelings to anybody at all.

"Well, they are very close according to what people say; she's the only female friend he has. And anyway, it would have been too odd if the card held the name of any of his male friends, don't you think?" Tonks laughed almost childishly and Hermione couldn't help but laugh back at the older witch's remark.

"You're right, I never took Nott and Zabini for the chocolate kind of people" Hermione grimaced comically.

"One more thing, Hermione. Nobody but the people who were in this room can know anything about this...well, and Dumbledore of course, but nobody else." Tonks warned

"Not even Harry?" Hermione whined. Harry was her best friend she needed to talk to him about this, she was already feeling down that they'd all be spending the holiday at the Burrow without her.

"I'm afraid not, sorry Hermoine." Tonks said with an apologetic smile.

"Alright." Hermione said finally with a sigh.

"Great. I'm off to do my part now, good luck with yours." Tonks winked at Hermione before leaving the room.

Hermione lied down in her bed and closed her eyes wishing the morning never came.

The next day, she reluctantly got out of bed, had an intentionally long shower before dragging herself down to the hall, the castle seemed so spacious with very few people still there. She could spot a couple of Hufflepuffs at a distant table, three or four Ravenclaws were chatting animatedly and no Slytherins were to be found.  
>Except for one very familiar Slytherin who had just entered the great hall. Any hope Hermione ever had, that Malfoy wouldn't notice the chocolate bar or just wouldn't fancy it, evaporated as the pale blond beamed at her.<p>

_And so it begins_, Hermione groaned inwardly.


	2. A List Of Things I Hate

"Hermione! Good morning, I didn't know you were staying for the holiday." Malfoy grinned at Hermione.

"Umm...good morning, Mal...um..Draco." She stammered, still finding it hard to adapt to the situation. She knew Malfoy was under the potion's effect now, he thought he loved her and he was acting accordingly, pretending they were never at each other's throats before. But what about her? How was she supposed to act? She knew Malfoy couldn't see sense, the potion was clouding his judgement, but wouldn't it be too weird if she acted in love instantly? He must think it's suspicious if she did. She needed to go to the library, there must be a book that would let her know all about the effects of a love potion. Till then, she had to be careful.

"It's great to have you here, I was afraid I'd have to spend the holiday by myself." he admitted, looking down at his breakfast as he started eating.

Hermione, who began nibbling at her own food decided to stir the conversation into a safer topic.

"So why are you staying here for the holiday?" she asked

"Oh, I have...some things to do, and I'm glad I stayed, we wouldn't be having this conversation if I had left." he smiled.

"Things? What sort of things?" Hermione did her best to appear nonchalant.

"Nothing important." Malfoy replied abruptly, his brows furrowed, but then they smoothed back again "You're not eating." he pointed out, looking at Hermione's plate then up at her.

"I'm not hungry." she replied, standing up, surprised when Malfoy stood up the next minute.

"I need to go to the library, there's something I need to read." She said as she started walking away but Malfoy's hand grabbed her elbow and she froze at the unexpected contact. "Wait, I'll come with you." he said simply.

"No." Hermione insisted "I won't be too long, please stay." she requested.

Malfoy looked at her with a sad look on his face, then he hit her with his unpredictable question "But what am I supposed to do when you're away?" he frowned, looking genuinely puzzled.

"Umm..I'm not sure, maybe you could just wait for me." Hermione was too dumbfounded by the question, she couldn't think of a better answer.

"Alright then, just don't be late." he said, then he bowed his head, pecked her on the cheek, before turning around and sitting back at the near table, looking at her innocently as if this was part of their daily routine.

Hermione didn't realize she was holding her breath. She almost ran out of the hall, feeling the need to put as much space between herself and Malfoy as possible. This was not as easy as everybody made it sound, it wasn't even as bad as she thought it would be; it was ten times worse. Her cheek still burnt, and she couldn't even tell how he would react if she turned down his so called love.

After a long search in the library she found the book she was looking for. According to it, love potions mainly depended on clouding the drinker's judgement. Strong potions like Amortentia would make the drinker develop great obsession. Weaker ones, like the one Malfoy was under, cause mild, short-lived infatuation and although it does affect the memory while it's active and after its effect has worn off, it doesn't totally erase a person's memory. So Malfoy did remember how they treated each other before, he just chose to ignore it, and maybe she should do the same for the time being. Hermione walked out of the library only to find Malfoy standing right in front of her, he was leaning on the wall and he made his way to her once she emerged from the library, once again, beaming at her.

"Mal...Draco! What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, her brows furrowed.

He looked at her as if she asked the most stupid question in the world and said "You told me to wait for you."

Hermione's mouth fell open at his reply and before she could reply he started asking about the book she was reading and what started as short conversation about books went on and on till dinner. She tried to get away from him by convincing him to go have lunch without her but he refused, saying he needed to spend time with her more than he needed to eat! She tried repeatedly to ask him about the things he said he had to do at Hogwarts but every time she asked about them his eyes would wander away for a while, then he would distract her from the question with another one of his.

When it was finally time to sleep, he reluctantly agreed to let her go...on condition that he walked her to her room. Hermione had never been so happy to see her room before, for her it wasn't just a room now, it was her only escape. She mumbled a goodnight to Malfoy before and reached for the knob.  
>Malfoy's hand covered hers and she turned around to find him inches away "Wha.." she started to say but he cut her off, bending his head down he aimed for her lips this time, brushing his over hers for a brief moment before stepping back.<p>

"_This_ is how you properly say goodnight." he smiled at her then turned around and walked down the corridor.

Hermione's hand tightened on the door knob, she just stood there, not even trying to open the door. She hated how she was feeling, she hated the weakness in her knees, the tightening in her belly But most of all, she hated Draco Malfoy.


	3. A Mistake In The Making

**A/N: Dear mysterious guest reviewer who very generously pointed out that the spell is actually spelled Expecto Patronum, which is something I was utterly oblivious to! I am eternally grateful for your heartfelt comment. Life has become a better place for me and I think I shall die in peace now.**

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><p>The next morning, Hermione woke up grumpy; she had very little sleep due to several nightmares, all featuring none but Draco Malfoy. This mission is going to be the death of her, she thought grimly. When she finally decided to leaver her room it was only because her stomach was rumbling so loud she couldn't ignore it anymore. She almost closed the door again instantly when she opened it to find Mafloy standing in front of her.<p>

"I thought you were never coming out." he said, stepping closer, he was standing so close now, it was suffocating her.

"How long have you been here?" Hermione asked, her brows furrowed.

"Not long, an hour or two, but it was worthwhile." he smiled at her then bent his head down kissing her briefly before pulling back and taking her hand. "I'm starving, let's go eat before we miss breakfast."

Hermione was so reluctant to move that she actually let him drag her to the great hall, she was horrified at the idea of anybody seeing her enter the hall with Malfoy. She wanted to tug her hand free and run away in the opposite direction, hide in her room and never come out until the three remaining days were over. Only three days! Hermione thought, one day had already passed and she knew nothing about what Malfoy was hiding, by the end of today half of the mission's period will be over and she'll only have two other days. What if she was never able to extract the information from him? Taking up this mission was bad enough but failing at it would be too much for her to handle...all this for nothing!

She raised her chin up as if secretly accepting a challenge,. When they finally sat at the table and breakfast was served, she looked up at Malfoy who was smiling at her and she smiled sweetly. Taking the piece of toast he held from his hand, she said "Let me help you with this." then she started spreading raspberry jam on it. He took the toast eagerly from her hand when she offered it, intentionally letting his fingers brush her hand when he did.

"I don't think bread and jam ever tasted so good!" he marveled.

Hermione who was helping herself to a second serving of french toast, almost grimaced at him but she held back.

"Well, I've noticed you haven't been eating much lately, you look so tired, as if something is stressing you." she remarked trying to sound as incurious as possible.

"That's because something _is_ stressing me_" he confirmed "_but if you make a habit out of sharing my meals I think I would eat more often." he added.

Hermione tried to produce her most genuine smile before saying "Maybe I can help with more than just food, whatever it is that's stressing you I'm sure I can offer some advice." she suggested

"I don't think anybody could help me out with that, but I really appreciate your willingness to help_" he reached for her hand raised it to his mouth and kissed it lightly before putting it back on the table "_thank you." he whispered.

He stood up abruptly and Hermione was taken aback by the sudden movement "Come with me." he said enthusiastically almost running down the halls, he was heading to the dungeons, Hermione realized. He finally stood in front of one of the rooms and opened the door for her, inviting her in. She looked at him as he held the door patiently, looking at her. Hesitating for a while, she finally gave in and entered the room.

He can't add more Slytherin to this room even if he tried, Hermione thought, green and silver dominated almost every corner in the room, but aside than that, the room was very uncharacterized. There were no pictures of his family, no books scattered here and there, not even a picture of his favorite Quidditch team, there was nothing personal about this room.  
>He left her side and walked to open a box that lied in the corner of the room, turning around he held a big rectangular parcel. He gave it to her and she just looked at him blankly.<p>

"Open it" he urged.

Out of sheer curiosity, Hermione did. Beneath the wraps was a book: Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science by Argo Pyrites. Her eyes widened, she had actually wanted to read that book, but never had the time to buy it, how did he know?

"It looked like something you would read" he said, breaking the silence.

"It is...thank you." Hermione muttered

"I'm glad you liked it." he beamed at her, sighing with relief. He was worried she wouldn't like the book! Hermione mused.  
>Sitting down, she opened the book and skimmed through its pages, it was only when he sat next to her that she realized she had actually sat on the bed. Jumping away from it abruptly, she earned herself a puzzled look from Malfoy.<p>

"Let's get out, I need some fresh air" she said, putting the book on the bed before walking to the door followed by Malfoy.

Hermione thought that making him walk the grounds of Hogwarts with her would eventually tire him and he would retire to his room, but there was no such luck, she was drained of all her energy before he showed any signs of exhaustion or boredom. It was dark when they finally went back to the great hall for dinner, it disturbed Hermione that she didn't keep track of time. But Malfoy was actually amusing, she brooded.

"Aren't you tired of all the walking?" Hermione asked in despair.

"Not at all, walking with you takes my mind off things." he replied.

"What things?"

"They're not important."

Hermione was furious at him, every time she tried to push him for answers he would give her that same hollow answer, it was frustrating her, and she decided that simply asking him wasn't enough, she had to push further, she had to approach this smartly.

"Draco, you don't love me!" she yelled at him suddenly

"Of course I do!" he frowned at her, not understanding where this was coming from.

"If you did, you would trust me, but you don't. Every time I ask you what's worrying you, you give me pointless answers, fake ones. If the person who _pretends_ to love me can't even trust me then how is that supposed to make me feel?" Hermione fumed at him and before he could answer she turned around and left in the fastest pace she had, she could her him calling after her but she ignored him. If that didn't provoke him to tell her what he's planning then nothing will.

Hermione waited anxiously in her room, he will be knocking that door at any minute now, she thought. But her wait wasn't over soon, Malfoy never showed up and it aggravated her, so she decided to push him even further. Making her way through the dungeons, she took a deep breath before knocking the now familiar door.

"Hermione!" Draco exclaimed as he opened the door, surprised to see her.

She looked at him in horror, he was standing there holding the door with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was dripping water everywhere.

"Come in" he invited, interrupting her thoughts.

"_No._" she said strongly, her voice too loud even to her own ears.

"I came to take the book; I left it here earlier." she spoke, raising her chin up defiantly.

"Yes you did, it's over there" he nodded at the desk that lied at the end of the room

Her eyes traveled between the book and the boy in front of her then she finally walked in, went to take the book and then turned around to leave. But when she did, she found Malfoy standing in front of the now closed door, looking directly at her, and she knew she had made a huge mistake when she left her room.


	4. A Matter Of Choice

**A/N: Shoutout to this story's most loyal fan "dutch potterfan", I update on a daily basis just for you! :)**  
><strong>P.S: This is a long chapter, I hope you're okay with that.<strong>

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><p>I shall not let him intimidate me, Hermione thought. She cleared her throat before walking forward, holding the book close to her chest like a protective shield.<p>

"You're blocking my way, Malfoy" she said sternly.

"I love you, Granger." he countered, catching her off guard.

Hermione's eyes widened, he sounded like the real Malfoy...except that was something the real Malfoy would never say, and the thought made absolutely no sense. This mission had done enough damage to her brain already and it was her most valuable asset!

"I believe I have made my opinion clear concerning that matter." she replied huskily.

"But I don't think you understand." he shook his head, looking down.

"If you explain, maybe I would."

"It's actually a lot more complicated than you make it sound."

"You're incorrigible." Hermione said exasperatedly. Brushing against him, she reached for the door knob and started turning it when his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her back.

"Don't leave" he pleaded in a barely audible voice. Clutching the book as if her life depended on it, she turned around to face him "Give me a reason to stay." she urged.

"I would, but that book is getting in the way." the corner of his mouth twisted mischievously

"That's not what I meant" Hermione contradicted. _Or was it? _She thought.

"What would convince you to stay then?" he asked, his smile fading as he looked down at her with his brows furrowed

"The truth, tell me what you insist so much on hiding." she said

He looked at her deeply, his silence and his frown said that he was contemplating his options, considering whether or not he should tell her, and Hermione thought she was finally getting there. But then he pulled away from her.

"I can't." he mumbled.

Hermione stormed out of the room in fury, when she finally made it to her room, slamming the door behind her, tears were running down her face.  
>This was wrong on every possible level, she couldn't remember the last time she failed at doing anything. She did great in all of her tests, she was the one her friends turned to when they needed help, when they needed advice. And finally, she was the one the order turned to when they needed such an important mission done and she failed them!<br>But most of all, she was so tempted to go back and strangle Malfoy...kiss him...then strangle him. Maybe Mad-Eye Moody was right, he should interrogate Malfoy himself, he'd definitely do a better job than her! Even under the effect of a love potion, Malfoy couldn't love her enough..how utterly pathetic was that?

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><p>By the next morning, Hermione had shadows under her eyes, she had had very little sleep and her last night was disastrous, she kept thinking of all things she could have said or done that would have made him react differently. What if she didn't let the book stand in the way?<p>

Unable to find her appetite, Hermione stayed at her room skipping breakfast, she didn't want to see him, wasn't ready for it yet. She spent so much time thinking what her next move should be, thinking of all the things she could say to fix things but she finally gave up when the sun came down. Fetching a parchment and some ink, she started writing a letter to Tonks, updating her on how the mission had went...leaving out most of the details.

The least she could do is be quick in informing the order that she couldn't do it, this way they would have more time to think of a plan B. She kept procrastinating, hoping he would finally give in and tell her. She even rushed out of the shower when she thought she heard a knock at the door, but nobody was there.

Just as she was heading out to owl Tonks, she heard a knock at the door, looking at the door silently, she waited for another one, just to make sure she wasn't imagining things like she had been most of the day. And then the second knock came. She took a deep breath and held the door knob, if Malfoy wasn't standing at the other side of the door, she would be the first person to ever die of disappointment.

But he was, to Hermione's great relief. "Come with me." he said, and it sounded more like an order than a request, maybe because he looked serious, he wasn't smiling at her like he did before. And she didn't like how he looked or how he sounded, it was all very ominous. But what was the worse that could happen? Maybe he was finally yielding.

"Where are we going?" she asked

"It's a surprise." he finally smiled again.

His pace was fast, unlike his usual pace when they walked together. Usual? When had it become his usual? This is not even the real him, Hermione corrected herself sternly. She was so distracted with her own thoughts that she didn't realize where they were going until the view grabbed her attention.

"The Astronomy tower?" she looked puzzled.

"Nice view, don't you think?" he was looking in amusement as the ground extended before them.

"Yes, very nice." she conceded. And when he didn't reply she looked at her side from the corner of her eye to see what was distracting him, but he wasn't there.

Turning around, she bumped into him and her mouth fell open. Flowers! He was holding flowers! When had anybody ever got her flowers? She took the yellow bouquet in her hand, smelled it and then looked up at Malfoy blankly.

"I'm sorry about last night_" he said quietly "_I thought this might...persuade you to accept my apology." he explained, smiling at her.

Hermione tried to act unimpressed. If this was how Malfoy acted when he was in love then she couldn't blame Pansy Parkinson for being so clingy, she thought ruefully.

"Yes, flowers could be very persuasive but that doesn..." she started to say "Hermione, listen." he interrupted her "The reason I couldn't tell you wasn't because I don't trust you."

"What was it then?"

"I know how you will react to it. If I tell you, you'll be running as far as your legs could take you. And it might even put you in danger."

"I don't understand.."

He looked up at her and opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, fiddling with the button until it was open, he started rolling up his sleeve and Hermione watched in confusion as he did. Then she saw it. Letting out an audible gasp of horror, Hermione stared at his arm and then back at him.

"I...I didn't see this last night!" she stammered.

"I was...concealing it, I usually do. Not the best sight to wake up to if you ask me." he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"How could you do this?" Hermione demanded

"I didn't have much choice."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a...family heirloom_" he twisted his mouth "_but that's not what's been keeping me worried, not most of the time at least."

"There's more?"

"I have a...task to do. It's too much for me to handle and I have been spending most of my time working on it. It's very consuming."

"Wha...what sort of task?" Hermione asked, trying so hard to control her shaky voice.

"Draco, please.." she pleaded when he remained silent.

After a long pause, Malfoy took a deep breath and looked away from her "I have to kill Dumbledore." he spoke.

"But I can't do it by myself, I need others with me. Other...death eaters. But Hogwarts is so bloody protected I thought I'd never find a way around it. But then I found one_" he paused to take another deep breath before continuing "_I don't know if you've heard of them before, vanishing cabinets. There are very few left, but one of them is here in Hogwarts. That stupid ghost ruined it but I've been working so hard lately and it's almost repaired."

He looked back at Hermione who stood there listening, leaning on the wall, her hand pressed to her stomach, she thought she would faint at any point now. He can't possibly do this, Malfoy could be an arrogant bully, he could be an elitist, he could be a long list of things but a murderer wasn't one of them. If not for morals then at least he was too much of a coward to do it.

"But you can't do this, Draco; you're not a murderer." she tried to reason with him

"But can't you see? This is exactly the point!" he exhaled sharply "He's trying to punish my father...through me. If I fail at this, it's not just my life I'm risking, my whole family would be dead_" he explained "_and I know...I just know that he'd kill my mother first just to spite my father and me." his voice croaked.

"You don't have to do this, it doesn't have to be like this." Hermione almost begged.

"_I don't have a choice!_" he groaned.

"Tell Dumbledore, he could help you. I'm sure he could, he would find a safe place for you and your family." Hermione persuaded

"Nowhere is safe now. You don't see this properly, Hermione, do you? Dumbledore is getting weaker everyday and the Dark Lord just keeps gaining more power, more followers. Death Eaters have been coming from everywhere, more and more of them each day. And how long is Dumbledore going to live? Five? Ten? TWENTY more years? He'll die eventually and where would that leave us? The Malfoys, not just blood traitors, but traitors of the Dark Lord himself. Dumbledore will die anyway when the time comes, if I don't do it some of the others will. But if I do it then I'm sparing my family's life, and if I don't...I don't even want to think about that case." Draco sounded like he was talking to himself. His words were frantic and his breath was ragged.

"There has to be another way." Hermione said desperately after a long silence. He moved, going to stand right in front of her, he moved his hand to her back pulling her closer while his other hand held hers to his chest. She could feel the violent thuds vibrating.

"There isn't any other way. And you have to know that I don't want your help with that, actually I don't want you to have anything to do with that. You can't tell anybody about what I just said, I said it because unlike what you keep saying, I _do_ trust you." his voice was dead serious, it even held the subtle hint of a warning.

"I love you, Hermione. I love you so much that even though I knew you'd hate me after what I've shown and told you tonight, I still did it. Because I couldn't fathom the idea of upsetting you." his voice was hoarse and his expression looked agonized as he spoke.

Hermione had so much to say but she couldn't find her voice, she wanted to talk some reason into him, to convince him that unlike what he thinks he does have an option. That Dumbledore wasn't alone, he had an order of very skilled witches and wizard supporting him, but she couldn't reveal anything about the order and she felt so helpless. Even Malfoy deserved a choice, what sort of choice he makes would define who he is, later on, but at least he should get to have one to begin with.

"Let's go." he interrupted her thoughts, taking her hand and walking down the stairs, leaving behind a bouquet of yellow flowers on the floor.


	5. Good Night And Good Bye

Hermione couldn't wait for the morning to come, she woke up before dawn, after a series of nightmares. But what disoriented her the most was that in her nightmares she wasn't scared of Malfoy; she was worried about him.

When the sun finally came up, she rushed to open the door, her eyes scanning the empty corridor desperately. It was too early for anybody to be awake so she decided to wait. Hours passed and he still hadn't knocked her door. Eventually, Hermione left her room, heading for the great hall. As she entered the hall, she saw him sitting at the Slytherin table like before, he was looking down at his plate and she sat on a table across him. He didn't look up, he was so focused on his plate and she knew he was intentionally avoiding looking at her.

Had the potion's effect faded already? NO! She still had one day. Could it be that Tonks wasn't accurate? Hermione's heart skipped a beat at the thought. She still needed to talk to him. Standing up, she walked towards his table until she was standing in front of him...he was still looking at the bloody plate!

Anger started taking hold of Hermione, topping any other emotion she felt at that moment. With a swift movement of her wand the plate flew all the way across the long table, stopping right at the edge of it. That was enough to force Malfoy to look up at her, but he remained silent, looking at her blankly.

She could see the shadows under his eyes were a shade darker now, his gaze was cold and he looked too pale for a live person. "So you woke up this morning with the brilliant idea of pretending that I don't exist?" Hermione demanded

"No_" he said quietly, shaking his head "_I can't do that even if I tried. I was aware of you even before you entered the hall." he admitted.

"Why didn't you say anything then? You didn't even as much as look at me." Hermione demanded.

"I was terrified_" he sighed after a long pause "_of what you would do when you see me, what you would say. I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me after last night...which is the sensible thing to do."

"Then maybe I don't want to be sensible."

"You should be."

"We need to talk...about last night. You make it sound like you have no choice but actually I think you do. Dumbledore isn't as weak as you make him sound, he's actua..."

"Hermione, _no._" he interrupted her forcefully "I don't want to talk about this anymore...please. You said I have to tell you if I wanted to prove my love to you and I did. Now prove yours to me and don't push this matter any further."

"You do love me, right?" he added when she remained silent. Hermione gazed at him for too long, what difference did another lie make in the web of lies she had already created?

"Of course I do." Hermione confirmed

"Then it's settled." he said decisively "Now, will you please bring back the plate you have childishly thrown away?" he smiled impishly and Hermione couldn't help but grin back, when he was being nice, nobody outdid him...neither did anybody outdo him when he did the exact opposite, she thought ruefully.

The day passed in a blur and the evening came too fast for Hermione's liking. They were sitting beneath a tree, chatting randomly until Hermione excused herself to go back to her room.

"I'll go up to my room now; I need to take a shower."

"I think I'll do the same"

"Alright, I'll meet you in your room then."

"If I knew you'd be so keen on sharing a shower I would've suggested it earlier." he teased

"I meant _after_ the shower." Hermione rolled her eyes at him before turning around to leave

"Spoilsport." he accused as he watched her go.

Hermione tried so hard to wipe the silly grin on her face but she couldn't, she was actually happy, and the time she spent with Malfoy took her minds off all the worries that clouded it...until she entered her room again. She saw the little familiar flask she had left there earlier: forgetfulness potion. Opening one of her drawers she reached for the bottle of Pumpkin juice she had kept specially for this occasion. She poured herself a glass before pouring the contents of the flask into the bottle and closing it again.

She made her way to Malfoy's room as if she was heading to the guillotine, one step forward, two steps backwards. She stood in front of the door for a while, reciting in her head what she was going to do and say, when she was confident enough, she knocked.  
>Seconds later, Malfoy was holding the door for her, wearing only a pair of trousers. Hemrione knew he wasn't wearing a shirt just to provoke her, so she pretended not to notice as she walked past him.<p>

"You love Pumpkin juice so much that you couldn't wait to get here to pour yourself a glass?" he raised an eyebrow at her quizzically.

"Actually yes, it's very sweet." she confirmed, taking a sip of the drink "_You're_ very sweet." he corrected.

"Have some." she offered, holding the bottle.

He hesitated for a minute then spoke "Accio glass". He poured himself a glassful before putting the bottle back, and Hermione looked at him anxiously as he raised the glass to his lips. He took a first sip and frowned slightly before drinking some more. Hermione started talking about the book he got her, anything to distract him while he drained the cup. When he had drowned the last drop, Hermione let out a breath she had been holding for too long. She leaned at the wall behind her, placing her hand on the nearby desk for balance.

"You know, I never liked pumpkin juice." he admitted "But...you just drank a whole glass."she contradicted

"Anything for you" he murmured.

Draco smiled at Hermione then stepped closer putting his glass on the desk before bending his head down and pressing his lips to hers as they parted slightly. There was some space between their bodies at first until he finally closed it, his hand moved to the small of her back and Hermione raised her hand to push him away, only to end up pulling closer. Her mind was clouded but she could hear every single alarm that ever existed in her brain shrieking.

This was different, not like the chaste brief kisses they shared before, not just a slight brush. It was slow and deliberate and when she opened her eyes to look at him, his were closed. When he eventually pulled back, Hermione was gasping for breath. He bent his head further, leaving a trails of kisses from her collarbones all the way up to her ear.

"Thank you" he whispered huskily

"Wha.."she paused to clear her throat "...what for?" she muttered

"Everything." he smiled down at her, but it soon turned into a frown and he stepped back, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"What's wrong?" she asked

"Nothing, just a headache, it's funny though I don't remember when was the last time I had a headache." he smiled briefly

"Maybe you should sleep." Hermione advised, she knew what was happening and she didn't want to stay in this room any longer.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm fine." he assured her.

"But I need to sleep myself, I think it's better if you sleep too." she urged.

He remained silent for a moment, looking at the floor, almost unbalanced "Maybe you're right, I'll walk you back, just let me find a shirt." he said looking around the room distractedly.

"I can walk back on my own, it's okay really." she insisted. What if the potion finally works when he was walking her to her room? How will she explain that to him? He'll know something was wrong and the real Malfoy would probably hex her before she gets the chance to raise her wand.

"Good night then." he said, pulling her for a lingering kiss before letting her go to open the door for her.

Hermione walked out of that room for the last time, without a single backward glance. She had succeeded in her mission, she knew all about what Malfoy was hiding and considering how dangerous it was, she knew she had done the order a huge favor. By the morning Malfoy won't remember anything, all was good, so why wasn't she happy about it?

Hermione sat down to write a new letter to Tonks, one that didn't hold as much disappointment as its predecessor, yet similar to it in the matter of leaving out most of the details. The order needed to know about Malfoy's mission not how she carried out hers. After the letter was written to her satisfaction, she went to owl it to Tonks. Lying down in her bed, she closed her eyes and forced her thoughts clear. That mission was over now and by tomorrow evening at most she will be fighting again with her self-restraint in order not to hex Malfoy.

The morning came too early and Hermione was reluctant to leave her bed, instead of heading to the great hall, she went to the library, freezing in her place when she saw Malfoy emerging from it. She stood there looking at him with her mouth open. Had the potion worked? Does he remember anything? What if it hadn't? She didn't prepare herself for that scenario!

"Seen something interesting, Granger?" he sneered at her, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"No.." she replied slowly

"Then what are you staring at?" he scowled at her.

Malfoy was back, the potion had worked and instead of feeling offended by his taunting, she felt...bereft. Part of her wished she had taken back the bottle of Pumpkin juice with her; she envied Malfoy for being able to forget all about the past four days.

* * *

><p>Draco threw himself on his bed with a loud thud; he hadn't felt so refreshed in ages. All the guilt that had been consuming him faded and a content smile played on his lips. On his bedside table sat a bar of chocolate, wrapped in green paper, the silver ribbon that laced it never undone. The bar lay there...untouched.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Oookaaay, on a scale from one to Umbridge how much do you want to strangle me? Personally, I love ending things with a plot twist...but it's only fun when I do it. So it's only fair that I ask you people first, do you want to see a final chapter from Draco's POV? I have one almost ready, if I get reviews from people wanting that chapter I'll post it, otherwise we can announce this story complete, choice is yours. :)**


	6. Where The Grass Is Darker

**A/N: I believe I woke up today and saw that our next door neighbors have been replaced with two Russian assassins, so as a form of self preservation, I'm posting that last chapter. I hope you guys like it.**

**P.S: ForensicGeek2 I LOVED your reviews on both my stories! It's a shame I can't PM you. If you can PM me, please do. :)**

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><p>Draco walked back to his room in wide unsteady steps, frustration had gotten the best of him. Nothing he did seemed to be working, not even his last desperate attempt at stealing some of that bloody stupid potion from Slughorn's office.<p>

He had spent quite a while trying to sneak into the old git's office and when he finally did, he spent twice that time searching for the potion. He almost gave up but on his way out he dropped one of Slughorn's boxes and all the potions that were in the box fell to the floor. Hastily collecting them to put them back before anybody comes, Draco finally saw it. A medium-sized flask, full of golden liquid: Felix Felicis. Letting a couple of drops slide through his throat, he closed the flask and placed it back in the box before putting it back in place and leaving.

He hurried back to the room of requirement hoping this time his spell worked. "Harmonia Nectere Passus" he said pointing his wand at the cabinet in front of him, but nothing seemed to happen. Draco threw his wand to the floor violently letting out a loud desperate groan. Just another futile attempt, even luck couldn't help him with it!  
>Picking up his wand once more, he took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind in order to try the spell again but he suddenly felt faint, his legs were shaking and his eyesight was blurred. The exhaustion of the previous days was finally catching up with him, he thought grimly. Feeling the need to lie down, he left the room of requirement and headed back to his room.<p>

Just as he raised his hand to the door knob, he heard a movement inside his room. _Perfect_, he thought broodingly. Just what he needed right now, an intruder. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to lose the blurriness that clouded his vision, then raised his wand and opened the door in a quick movement.

"Stupefy" he muttered, pointing his wand at the figure in front of him and it flew across the room before hitting the wall and falling down. Draco turned on the lights to see who it was and his mouth fell open when he saw his cousin. _What was she doing there!_

"Expeliarmus!" he said as the witch in front of him tried to stand up.

"Accio wan.." she started to say before he interrupted her.

"Imperio" he voiced and the older witch let out a sigh before letting her shoulders fall, looking at him blankly.

He started searching one of his drawers until he found his potion box, opening it, he ran his fingers idly over the tiny flasks until he found the one he had been looking for, a tiny flask that held a few drops of a transparent water-like liquid. He pushed it into Tonks's hand "Drink this." he ordered and she complied.

After several minutes he started his interrogation.

"Who are you?" he asked, unsure whether it was his cousin or somebody disguised as her.

"Nymphadora Tonks." she replied

"What are you doing here?" he asked

"I was placing this." she said, pointing her finger at his desk. Looking at the direction she was pointing at, he saw it. It looked like a small gift, wrapped in green with a silver ribbon on it, there was a card attached to it and his frown deepened as he read it. _Pansy? What bloody madness was this!_

After what seemed like ages of asking so many questions and receiving concise answers in return, Draco finally understood what was going on. Dumbledore suspected him, apparently he hadn't been discreet enough about his mission and it earned him the old wizard's suspicion. And out of all people, he had enlisted Granger to persuade him to spill his secret...pathetic. It made sense, though, she was Potter's best friend and Dumbledore probably trusted her.

The idea was remarkable however, he mused with a frown. Had he walked into the room finding this gift from Pansy, he would've eaten it without a second thought.  
>But he hadn't, he walked in earlier and now he knew all about Dumbledore's plans. He was several steps ahead of Dumbledore now and it gave him the upper hand, but did he really want it? Part of him wished he had stayed in the room of requirement for a while longer. The bliss of ignorance, he thought ruefully.<p>

But maybe he could...Draco pondered carefully before a familiar smirk played on his lips. He put the bar back on the desk then turned to Tonks "Obliviate" he spoke confidently before going to hide in the adjoined bathroom.  
>Slightly opening the bathroom door, he pointed his wand at Tonks and with a swift movement the Imperius curse he had cast on her earlier was terminated then he closed the door and listened carefully. Minutes later, he could hear her footsteps leaving the room, closing the door behind her.<p>

Sitting on the nearest chair, he toyed with the so called gift, juggling it from one hand to the other. Draco thought of the endless options he had, he could simply ruin their plan by going back home for the holiday instead of staying, but he didn't want to. For the first time in so long Draco felt like he had a wide range of choices, ones that nobody was going to make for him. He just had to make the right one.

He stayed up all night, thinking of the right approach, how do you act in love when you've never actually experienced it?

* * *

><p>When the morning came, Draco took a quick shower and headed to the great hall, he could see her sitting where she usually did, fidgeting in her chair and it satisfied him that she was nervous about this. He was going to give Hermione Granger four extremely uncomfortable days and he was going to enjoy it thoroughly.<p>

_She was failing at this miserably_, he mused. She had spent the whole day acting like a frightened mouse, trying to hide from him when she was the one that should be pursuing him for answers.  
>She flinched every time time he touched her and it irritated him and pleased him all at once. It pleased him because anything that caused Granger to flinch was definitely good, but it irritated him that she found his proximity so repulsive, he's the one that should be flinching away not her!<p>

* * *

><p>Hermione Granger proved to be very entertaining if watched closely. Draco decided. He hardly bit back a laugh when she suddenly snatched the piece of toast from his hand. If this was how she showed affection then he really pitied Weasly. He was finding it hard to plaster a smile on his face when he had spent so much time waiting outside her room earlier. He had spent the past night contemplating on whether or not he should give her that book.<p>

He wanted to give her some sort of gift; people in love usually did, and he wanted to leave her with a reminder of that mission of hers. But finding something she would actually like, proved to be hard until he finally remembered that book he had. What would appeal to someone like Granger more than a book?

When she started pushing him for answers over breakfast he decided it was the prefect distraction.  
>It was only when she eventually said that she liked the book that Draco realized he was holding his breath. He smiled with pride as he watched her skimming through the pages in awe. But when she jumped off the bed after he sat next to her, he was so tempted to pull her back.<p>

...

"Draco, you don't love me!" _smart move_, Draco thought grimly. If he was under the effect of that potion he wouldn't have kept a single secret from her after she had said that. He watched as she walked away, waiting for her to turn around at any minute, but she didn't. She was pushing him further and he was finally being pushed for real.

Suddenly he wasn't sure about anything anymore, he thought as he entered his room. The choice he thought he wanted to make seemed so hard. Three lives were on stake, the three lives he valued the most, his and his parents'.

It was easier said than done, help Granger carry out her mission by telling her about his. Then proceed working on his own mission. It wasn't the right thing, he knew, but it was the closest thing to it. This way, Dumbledore would know what to expect, whether or not Draco would be able to kill Dumbledore was unknown to him yet.

He was torn between wanting to disappoint Voldemort by succeeding in his mission and sparing his family's life, and feeling terrified of the thought of killing somebody. And not just anybody; one of the most powerful wizards the magic world had known...one of the main obstacles in Voldemort's way. And out of all the things that terrified Draco, Voldemort's rise to power terrified him the most, nobody was safe if he did. Because it didn't matter how loyal his followers were to him; he wasn't loyal to any of them.

He stepped under the shower, holding his breath as the cold water ran down his body. Sooner or later, he will be tested again, if he survived after this mission, he will eventually have another one thrown at him. With the same things at stake, he will be forced once more to do something against his will. He looked at the mark on his arm and knew this was never going to end as long as he was breathing and more than anything, he wished for Dumbledore to kill him before he does.

A sharp knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts, he knew who it was. Wrapping a towel hastily around his waist he ran out of the bathroom. Grabbing his wand he pointed it at his left arm and muttered something under his breath, when he was sure the mark wasn't visible anymore he opened the door, unsure why she was here.

* * *

><p>"I love you, Granger." the words left his mouth before he was able to stop them, he didn't want to say it but he reveled in the the color that rose in her cheeks and how her eyes widened, getting a shade darker. For a fleeting second he was tempted to let her know that he wasn't saying that under the effect of a love potion to see how she would react, but it was just a fleeting second.<p>

Draco had wanted her to stay, because in spite of himself, he had to admit that he actually liked her company, he wasn't lying when he said it took his mind off things. Ever since Granger's mission came up, he hadn't given his own mission much thought. He hadn't even went anywhere near the requirement room. But what she wanted in return for her company that time was too much, he finally decided as he watched the back of her head for the second time that evening.

* * *

><p>Draco stayed in his room all day long and although his ego wanted her to come looking for him, he was thankful she didn't. He wasn't ready to talk to her just yet. He had finally made up his mind about telling her everything, he just needed to figure out how to do it.<p>

...

"_you're not a murderer." that was how she thought of him? Draco frowned. Her whole behavior during that night was unpredictable. He expected her to try and extract as much information as she could before coming up with an excuse to leave, but she didn't. Instead she stood there, fiercely talking him into switching sides. He hadn't expected that, neither had he expected it to overwhelm him so much.

"I love you so much that even though I knew you'd hate me after what I've shown and told you tonight, I still did it." his voice echoed inside his head, he hated how real it sounded to his own ears. This mission was taking its toll on him and he couldn't differentiate between reality and acting anymore.

After he made sure she was in her room, Draco sneaked back to Slughorn's office. The old man had a flask of almost every potion ever known! He was sure he had seen a flask that had an antidote to forgetfulness potion while he was searching for Felix Felicis before. Ironically, it was the only flask that had a label on it. When he finally found the flask he took it with him and went back to his room. Hopefully, Slughorn won't notice it was gone until he could replace it.

* * *

><p>The day that had started too dreadful for Draco, gradually took a perfect turn. He knew what to expect from people when they saw his mark: fear, respect and poorly hidden repulsion. But aside from that horrified look she gave him last night in the astronomy tower, Granger showed none of those. He was taken aback by the forcefulness of her reaction when he tried to avoid her.<p>

But he wasn't lying to her when he said he was terrified of how she would treat him that day. He had never revealed so much of himself to anybody and she accepted it so well. She was a horrible liar, he would've known if she was acting that night at the astronomy tower, but she was actually sincere in her attempts to change his mind. And he appreciated it so much that he was afraid of having it ruined by how she might react the next morning. Maybe when she had time for herself to think she would realize what he actually was, and he wasn't ready to put up with any fear or disgust from her. At least not now.

The day slipped through Draco's hand like water. Granger still hadn't tried to make him drink anything and he was wondering whether there had been a change of plan. Maybe she planned on obliviating him instead, he reached for his pocket to make sure his wand was there.

...

Subtlety doesn't become her, Draco remarked with amusement. Even under a love potion he would've been alarmed at the fact that she had poured herself a glass before coming into the room. Glad that he had already drunk some of the antidote before opening the door, Draco confidently poured himself a glass and drowned it, this should give him some time before the potion started affecting him.

This time she didn't flinch back when he touched her; she stepped closer. This time he didn't touch her to irritate her; he did because he couldn't stop himself. And when he thanked her it was because he was feeling eternally grateful.  
>He was reluctant to let her go but if she had stayed any longer the potion's effect would have started taking over him and he couldn't drink the rest of the antidote without her noticing.<p>

Draco closed his eyes and a sense of relief washed over him, for once he had made a choice on his own, and it was the closest thing he had ever done to the right thing. He had no idea whether it was his family or Dumbledore who would survive, but at least the guilt that had been consuming him had retreated.

* * *

><p>The next morning, when Draco saw Hermione walking into the library he knew he should've stayed in his room. But he was going to have to face her eventually and the sooner the better.<br>He desperately wanted her to insult him back, she could've hexed him right there and he wouldn't even raise his wand to defend himself. Anything was better than that hurt look on her face. Say something he pleaded silently, but she just brushed against him into the library.

As Draco made his way back to his room, he seriously considered drinking what was left in that juice bottle.


End file.
